故园风雨后

改编之后，Charles和Sebastian的暧昧的感情更为露骨直接，而Charles对Sebastian的冷淡简直人神共愤。

原本C之后追求Julia有很大一部分是对S的追思和怀念，而现在只是变成了一种野性的冲动。

如果要强化爱情的情节，影片不该如此肤浅地用老套的三角恋来叙述，更不该浓墨重彩地描摹C和J之间的情欲，最后也只不过是两幅画作，赤裸裸的金钱交易而已。

如果始终只是关于宗教，S的离去应该只是离开母亲的暴政，而不是S的背叛。

如果只是关于C内心的欲望，那未免Matthew也演得太无辜，毕竟是一个“只有上帝能给你所要的”的人。

可惜影片时间太短，而这三条主线都必须详述，于是我看到的故事是这样的：Charles是个像《红与黑》中于连一般有着隐秘抱负的人，Sebastian的一家本来因为天主教的信仰摇摇欲坠，而Charles无疑给了这个家庭最后一刀。

在威尼斯，Sebastian父亲的情妇曾好心暗示Charles处理好和S以及J的感情问题，然而，Charles还是伤透了Sebastian的心，致使其终日酗酒。

S其实是无比聪明的，他早早洞穿C不会为他所动，然而却弱弱带着一点飘渺的幻想。

当他在堕落的过程中，C非但没有试图拯救他，反而放任自流，并残忍地让S对之存有幻想。

最终导致S离家出走。

数年后重逢，S也只是无怨无悔。

C对于J的所谓的感情，只是纯粹的欲望而已。

宗教，只是催赶着悲剧发生的步伐，因为Charles的出现在庄园，就是悲剧的开始。

于是看了这么一部电影，谁能不胸闷不憎恶Matthew Goode饰演的Charles这个角色。

好不容易通过A Single Man培养了点对这个演员的好感，Match Point里几乎没有演技可言，这部电影里他又饰演如此一个不讨喜的主角，真是胸闷得要命。

期待Leap Year能让我心情好一点。

董桥说这个名字过于滥情，我偏不这样认为。

《旧地重游》是好名字，可是过于隐忍的翻译大多数中国读者对本来就隔了一层的文字更多生疏。

故园，风雨，后，都是Brideshead大厦将倾的活生生的写照，就像一样隐忍的曹雪芹，写了石头记，最后流传的名字还是红楼梦。

一个梦字，道尽人生沧海桑田，变幻莫测。

这不是小时代的爱情故事，这是建立在大时代的断壁残垣上的追忆。

就像Sarah Waters的《小小陌生人》，初看是个鬼故事，其实不过是没落英国鬼魂而已。

那些富丽堂皇的园林、喷泉、古代雕塑、柔情蜜意的青春，原来都不过是梦一场而已，由于知道最后的结果，所以看的时候就分外惊心动魄，仿佛那些都是易碎的陶瓷，越美就越令人心碎。

比起1981年BBC电视剧版，我觉得差别比较大的是萨巴斯蒂安，原著中最丰满、最纯洁，也最引人同情的人物。

1981年的演员显然更有贵族气质，那不是现在的忧郁小文青可以装出来的，虽然新版的演员是那么瘦那么忧郁——电视剧版的演员即使在古早的模糊不清的画面中，也显得那么光彩夺目。

看了《故園風雨後》，感觸良多，看著落日餘暉下古老的英國貴族的故事，有些感傷，也有些震撼。

但是這都不是我想說的，我想談談那個那個最先出現在Charles視線裡的男人，Sebastian。

我曾一度以為在結局的時候，他會重新出現在銀屏上，但是事實卻是沒有，但是我想，這也是也是一個很好的結局，比結局來段互訴衷情更讓我感慨。

先來說說演員，當然，比起Julia的飾演者，我更加喜歡飾演Sebastian的小本，但是無可否認的是Julia有著極美的側臉。

我覺得小本非常適合Sebastian這個角色，為什麼呢，第一點是因為他的身材，Sebastian長期受到來自家庭與信仰的壓力，過著放蕩形骸的生活，這是為什麼小本適合，他瘦弱，同時有種病態的美。

第二點，是因為小本本身，對於一個同性戀者而言，因為不受到當時的社會所接受，性格應該是敏感且脆弱的，這與小本本身的性格也有點相似。

然後來說說他們的愛情。

Charles去到牛津的第一天，看到船上仰躺著，喝著酒的Sebastian，我相信他是驚豔的。

而Sebastian喝醉酒，跑到屬於前者的公寓裡吐了一地，他仰起頭第一眼看到他，我相信他就愛上了他。

Sebastian動心了，他邀請他去晚宴，公開表明他在乎他，甚至為了他拒絕了曾經的矮人Attonory的親熱，他帶著他去騎單車，喝酒，吃草莓，做一切只有情侶才會做的事情。

明晃晃的畫面，日光傾斜，我幾乎要相信這就是最後的完美結局了。

然後某個夏日裡，Sebastian終於想起來要把他的愛人帶給唯一能體諒他的祖母見見，他們驅車穿過長長的林蔭道，旁邊是宏偉的莊園，也許在Charles第一眼看到Brideshead的時候，就註定了這兩個年輕人並不能如願地獲得自己希望地人生。

祖母Hakwins緊握著孫子的新室友的手，她知道親愛的孫子的“異于常人”的愛好，她看著他，希望這是一個好的開始，她的眼睛裡帶著懇求，她說，“I pray for my dear Sebastian everyday”，但是可惜，這是一個好的開始，卻沒有一個好的結局。

Sebastian帶著Charles穿過恢弘的莊園，看各種雕塑、畫作、建築，最後他停在了禮拜堂，他手沾聖水，在胸前畫下十字，即使他對這個主有所怨懟。

天主教不允許同性之戀，主寬恕一切的過錯，但卻並不包括他在內。

他的母親，Marchmain，是個虔誠的天主教徒，一切遵從上帝的要求，在她眼中，同性之戀自然是不被主所接受的，但是偏偏的愛的兒子就是這樣一個人，她心懷憤怒，決心要改變他。

但是看著那個浪蕩的小少爺一天天開始消瘦下去，看著Sebastian開始酗酒、一個人躲在房間裡抽煙，我就知道這對他來說不可能。

家庭的壓力、Charles與妹妹Julia的背叛，也許這個曾經談笑風生的貴族少爺已經心生疲倦了，他只想遠遠逃離這個家庭，逃離這個用信仰束縛他的地方。

Sebastian的母親去世了、父親也去世了，哪怕是莊園被徵用的時候，他都沒有回來看過一眼，也許對他而言，這個莊園，代表了他不被世人接受的一面，只要靠近這個莊園，他就不再是Sebastian，他不敢回去，畏懼因此再也沒有勇氣走開。

上帝的力量太強大了，他反抗了第一次，他沒有信心再嘗試第二次。

單單說Sebastian這個角色而言，我想作者、或者是改變後的編劇者，大概想要表達的都是一個理念——關於宗教所不接受的悖倫之戀。

他也許是幸運的，出生在一個富有的家庭，母親父親仍舊健在，他可以每天隨心地過著奢靡的生活；但他也許也是不幸的，出生在一個天主教家庭，偏偏卻是同性戀者，母親、弟弟妹妹、哥哥，沒有一個人能理解他。

所以更多的時候，他一個人在外面，過著放蕩的、毫無顧忌的生活，他把自己放縱在各種酒肉朋友中，但是卻與那個人，Charles不期而遇。

他本沒有想要改變什麼，他本沒有勇氣想要改變什麼，但是Charles的出現，讓他有了推翻這一切的勇氣，他在飛馳的汽車上，握著Charles的手，跟他說——“Sebastian和Charles，共同對抗這個世界。

”他想著只要與他在一起，也許他就能夠越過這片世俗的羈絆，也許就能背對上帝，昂首走開。

但是他失敗了，他一個人沉淪在無法得到回應的愛戀中，他醉眼朦朧地看到Charles一個人端著酒杯站在舞會的角落，他上去想親他，但是他把他推開了，酒杯摔在地上，摔得粉碎。

他怔怔看著打碎的酒杯和灑出來的酒液，他知道他沒辦法繼續生活下去了，他努力建立起來對抗神靈、對抗這個世界的勇氣被打得粉碎，他要逃離這裡。

他一個人到了摩洛哥，遠離了Brideshead、遠離了所有的親人，他遇到了Kurt，和他在一起，儘管他還想著Charles。

影影綽綽的樹蔭下，他見到了從遠方來的Charles，他來勸他回去，告訴他他的母親將死，但是他沒有勇氣回去，沒有勇氣再回去面對上帝，沒有勇氣再回到Brideshead莊園。

我無法猜測Sebastian的下半生的生活，他住在摩洛哥的療養院裡，形銷骨立，眼睛也失去了在牛津時候的神采，也許他會和Kurt在一起，也許在Charles走之後的不久他就已經死去，不管哪種結局，對於他來說也許都比回到莊園要好。

因為只要在那之外，他始終是忠於自己的Sebastian。

好吧，俺会说，俺最初之所以选看这部电影的原因是它有个非常古典文艺的名字，但最终支持俺看完这部电影的动力却是，真的真的非常想看里面那对爱得难舍难分的狗男女最后劳燕分飞成为陌路，哈，果然如愿了。

该片改编自著名作家Evelyn Waugh（伊夫林·沃）的同名小说Brideshead Revisited，但翻译成《故园风雨后》比直译的《旧地重游》有意境多了，姐就是被这译名迷惑了。

故事以无宗教的主人公查尔斯的视角展开，描写了伦敦近郊布赖兹赫德庄园里一个天主教贵族家庭的生活和命运。

当然主人公并不仅是袖手旁观，而是充分参与到其中，和这个家族结下剪不断理还乱的不解之源。

他不但勾搭了哥哥，转头又爱上了妹妹，并在各自结婚后又和妹妹旧情复燃，双双出轨，但最终分手，最后二战时男主人公又旧地重游，以军官的身份回到这个充满魔咒（祷告）的布赖兹赫德庄园。

当然小说可比姐概括的含蓄和优美多了，电影和小说内容差不多，只是侧重点不同，小说是自传，包括主人公自己的家庭婚姻等，比较全面地描绘了当时的社会现状，揭示了宗教对信徒家庭和成员的影响，更讽刺了宗教婚姻。

电影则精简了很多，删掉了大部分自传内容，家庭矛盾部分又欲言还止，只着重表现了宗教对自己爱情的影响，视觉和思想一下子狭隘了很多，甚至省去了很多关键性的交代，让情节的转合莫名其妙，这也是姐看这部电影满满心塞感的原因。

比如庄园的次子塞巴斯蒂安，他和主人公查尔斯是大学同学，也是他把查尔斯引入到了自己的家族生活，姐之前写过，和塞巴斯蒂安这个名字沾边基本都是同性恋没跑，很明显作者的寓意也在于此，所以小说中，这位酗酒成性的公子哥痛苦的根源在于天主教对同性恋者的不认可，是作为教徒的神性和人性本能的撕裂，但电影中表现的却是主人公和这位娘炮公子哥大搞暧昧，让对方迷恋自己到无法自拔，以至于避走他乡。。。

比如庄园的长女朱莉娅，这位个性独特作风泼辣的姑娘，她和查尔斯两情相悦，但是却没有勇气选择自己的婚姻，她遵从自己母亲的意愿嫁给了一个贪图其嫁妆的伪天主教徒，不幸的婚姻使双方相看两厌，自己更丧失了生育的能力。

然后再遇到被老婆戴了绿帽的查尔斯便双双决定鼓起勇气离婚追求幸福，虽然最后因为父亲的去世等种种原因没有离成，但也是对天主教徒不予离婚等教条的反抗吧。。。

但电影中呢，不但对于两人的婚姻状况完全没有交代，还搞出一幕肉浪翻滚的情欲戏，看上去就好像一对背着自己伴侣偷情奸夫淫妇，奸夫甚至还跑到人家老公面前要求人家把妻子让给自己，OPZ，三观已毁。。。

还有该片的主角查尔斯，更是匪夷所思，小说中的查尔斯是个颇富有艺术人文精神的人，他介入到这个执信天主教的家庭，纠缠在这些饱受宗教困扰的人们中间，看他们在宗教的束缚中挣扎，互相伤害，想帮助他们，却心有余而力不足，更迷失了自己的心。

而电影中呢，他则成了个野心家，他爱朱莉娅吗？

不，他爱的只是布赖兹赫德庄园，是自己的自尊心。

在他第一次进入庄园见到那些雕像和绘画的时候就为之惊叹，作为一个未来画家的狂热，并对塞巴斯蒂安因避见家人而匆匆赶他走感到失落，而以后每次能来庄园的机会他都不会错过，包括朱莉娅的订婚礼。

他和朱莉娅重遇之后，为了对方的信仰，如果他真爱朱莉娅的话，本来可以像朱莉娅父亲一样折衷，带着爱人去异乡生活，但是他却执意回到庄园，执意回到这个充满朱莉娅天主教母亲阴影的地方，执意要求朱莉娅的合法丈夫转让自己的妻子，以两幅画的价格，所以朱莉娅直言不讳地揭穿他，“你为了得到我，也是为了得到这房子”他要得到这房子，为了第一次到这里做客时朱莉娅母亲对他的讥讽，一个妄图成为画家的穷小子。

爱人不值得信任，所以朱莉娅最终放弃了查尔斯选择回归天主的怀抱，仁慈的天主会宽恕所有有罪的人，只要你虔诚地告解。。。

这真是喜闻乐见的结局，姐等着就是这一刻！

因为姐从一开始就对这个扮猪吃老虎，摇摆不定的野心家表示厌恶。

更不掸以最坏的恶意猜测他之所以放弃塞巴斯蒂安选择朱莉娅也是因为虚荣，因为同性恋是没前途的，但假如和朱莉娅结婚的话，便名利地位财产什么都有了。

电影中唯一完整契合小说的，就是故事的叙事方式，和小说一样全片由三个部分外加序幕和尾声组成。

通过主人公的回忆来展开故事，主人公时而是亲历者，时而又是旁观者，所以带给观众的视觉也是时而主观时而客观，这点很奇特。

三个部分分别是学生时期；去摩洛哥寻找塞巴斯蒂安；和朱丽娅重遇。

这不是一部真正的同性恋电影，但它总让人误会它是，所以才让人手痒痒。

很想给P腿男和绿茶婊各几掌大嘴巴子，这和信仰无关而和人品有关。

反而，那个苍白脆弱的，一直抱着小熊的，酗酒酗得随时像会死掉的塞巴斯蒂安才是全片更值得尊重的人，因为他一直忠诚于自己的性向和内心，没有屈服，没有纠缠不清，没有随便娶什么人，宁愿舍弃荣华富贵漂泊他乡，他终于从一个一直需要别人帮助的人成为了一个也能被人所需要的人，在医院帮忙，自食其力，真的了不起。

虽然这个演员在我眼中那种天生的贵气还差了点。

得不到的永远在骚动被偏爱的都有恃无恐信仰不是约束人的东西，道德才是同性恋不是道德问题，婚外恋才是信仰是为了自己和所爱的人道德是出于不伤害别人俺觉得不管你信什么，首先要遵从自己的内心信仰带给我们的最终意义是心的安宁如果一种信仰让你失去了自我和痛苦那便不值得相信不要让自己成为信仰的陪葬电影的最后，已成为军官的查尔斯又回到了布赖兹赫德庄园，这里已成为部队驻扎的新营地，士兵们在清洁扫除，原来的主人早已不见，没人知道这里曾发生过的故事，也没人在乎。

等战争过去，就连营地也会消失不见。。

整个庄园已面目全非，只有小教堂还一如往昔，圣母抱着圣子静立在堂前，等待着罪人们的告解。。

你看空虚的空虚，一切都是空虚我见日光之下所作的一切事，都是虚空，都是捕风所有的人和事都是短暂的，只有空虚是永恒的一切的爱恋，挣扎，苦痛，都会被时间抚平，抹去，了无痕迹。

所以如果一切都是空虚，那让自己快乐地活吧，在不伤害别人的前提下

Charles (Matthew Goode): If you asked me now, who I am the only answer I could give for certain would be my name, Charles Ryder. For the rest, my loves, my hates, down even to my deepest desires I can no longer say whether these emotions are my own or stolen from those I once so desperately wished to be. On second thought, one emotion remains my own, alone among the borrowed and the second hand, as pure as that faith as which I am still in flight-guilt. Did I want too much? Did my own hunger blind me to the ties which bound them to their faith? Why only now shadowed by war. All warnings gone. Alone enough to see the light.Brideshead Revisited Script - Dialogue TranscriptVoila! Finally, the Brideshead Revisited script is here for all you fans of the 2008 Matthew Goode movie, also featuring Ben Whishaw. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Brideshead Revisited quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.Brideshead Revisited ScriptIf you asked me now who I am,the only answer I could givewith any certaintywould be my name,Charles Ryder.For the rest,my loves, my hates,down even to my deepest desires,I can no longer say whetherthese emotions are my ownor stolen from thoseI once so desperately wished to be.On second thoughts,one emotion remains my own,alone among the borrowedand the second-hand,as pure as that faithfrom which I am still in flight.Guilt.Been away, sir? Anywhere interesting?- Jungle.- Jungle.Explorer, are we?- Painter.- Painter?So, bye-bye beardy, hello smooth.Famous for his impressivearchitectural portraits,British artist Charles Ryderhas taken New York by stormwith a series of gripping jungle studies.To own a Ryder is currently the dreamof every self-respectingEast Coast millionaire.You must be so proud of him.- Was he away long?- Two years,- and it doesn't feel like a day.- You must feel positively bridal.I can't paintto save my life.Thank you.I can't even hold a buggering brush!But I know what I like. Lots of color.Nice and bright.I see the jungle in your workas a metaphor.Not least, the metaphysical semblanceof the chaos at the heart of civilization.Make an effort, Charles.You're not in South America now.You're amongst civilized people.- Mr. Ryder, I wonder if I could...- I'm so sorry. Excuse me.- Excuse me. Thank you very much....just have a conversation...Hello, Charles.- You're wearing a coat!- Yes, Father, I am.Why?- I'm going up to Oxford.- Ah. Yes.- Remind me. What are you taking?- History.- And what allowance have I given you?- A hundred pounds.How very indulgent of me.Mind you, it all comes out of capital.Oh, I suppose this is the timeI should give you advice.Your mother was alwaysso good at that.Who's meeting you?Cousin Jasper offeredto show me around.Cousin Jasper!Most entertaining.Out of the way,you silly fool.There you are, Charles.This way, please.Come along. As an only child,you will, of course, have much to learn.Though I am only your cousin, Charles,you must look upon me as a brother.Older, wiser,but a brother nevertheless.Now, it is no secret that our familiesare not rich in material wealth.Keep off the grass.But I like to think that we Ryders are,all of us, rich in the striving of minds.Now, then... Not that way.Clothes. Dress as you doin a country house.Never wear a tweed coatand a flannel trousers, always a suit.And go to a London tailor.You'll get a better cut.Protocol. First and foremost,behaving with restraint...Nine adulteries, 12 liaisons,64 fornications,and something approaching a raperest nightly upon the soulof our delicate friend Florialis,and yet the man is soquiet and reserved in demeanorthat he passesfor both bloodless and sexless.Sodomites, all of them. Steer well clear.Treat all donsas you would the local vicar.With indifference.Oh, dear, oh, dear. This won't do at all.You must change your rooms.I've seen many a man ruinedthrough having ground floor roomsin the front quad.People start dropping in.They leave their gowns hereand come and collect them before hall.You start giving them sherryand before you know it they're...Sebastian, come along.Look at the state of him.Come on, you're nearly clean.Oh, no, no, no, sir, stop.You don't clear up after yourself.That's my job.Sorry, Lunt. What's all this?From the gentleman last night, sir.He just called. Left a note for you."I am very contrite."Please come to luncheon today.Sebastian Flyte."The Lord Sebastian Flyte,don't you know?I'm sure it's quite a pleasureto clear up after him.I take ityou'll be out to lunch today, then, sir.Yes, Lunt. I think I shall be.I've just counted them.There's five each and two over,so I'm having the two.I'm unaccountably hungry today.I put myself unreservedlyin the hands of Dolbear and Goodalland feel so druggedI've begun to believethe whole of yesterday eveningwas a dream.Please don't wake me.- Do try one.- Thank you.- What are they?- Plover's eggs. The first this year.Mummy sends them from Brideshead.They always lay early for her.You would, too, if you knew my mother.Are you terribly angry with meabout last night?No, not at all.Thank you for the flowers.Aloysius, you can't go there.Do sit down.- Tell me about you.- Me?I'm in my first year, reading history,but really what I most want to beis a painter.Would you like to paint me?Well, yes. Yes, if you like.It's so clever of you,knowing what you want.I've no idea what I want.Except to be happy.If I can.Let's have some champagne.A glass each before the rowdies arrive.You don't want to join the Old Boys.They're all bloody drugged bogsor collegers.Top me up,will you, old man?- I don't remember you from Eton.- I didn't go to Eton.Oh, really. Where then?Harrow or Winchester?Rugby? Oh, not Charterhouse, I hope?You wouldn't have heard of it.There are other schools,you know, Boy.Yes, I suppose there must be.- My dears.- Hello, Blanche.Hello, Blanche.I couldn't get away before.I was lunchingwith my preposterous tutor.I told him I had to change for footer.Anthony, you remember Charles.From last night?Charles is reading history,but he wants to be an artist.- No!- Why ever not?- Either you are an artist or you are not.- Hear, hear.- Then I am.- Interesting.You have about youa distinct hint of the pragmatic.What do you want to be an artist for?I mean, what's the point of it?Why don't you justbuy a bloody cameraand take a bloody photographand stop giving yourself airs?- That's what I want to know!- That's it, go it, Boy!- I don't give myself airs.- Yes, you do.And, anyway,you haven't answered my question.Come on! Answer!- Answer, answer, answer, answer...- Yes.Answer, answer, answer, answer...Because a camerais a mechanical devicewhich records a moment in time,but not what that moment meansor the emotions that it evokes.Whereas a painting,however imperfect it may be,is an expression of feeling.An expression of love.Not just a copy of something.And who on earth do you thinkcares about your feelings?I do.Boy, you're an oaf. Behave yourself.To art and love.To art and love!We'd just arrived in his rooms, then,without even a, "By your leave,"the Lord Flyte pokes his headthrough the window and vomits.Ground floor rooms, you see.Poor Charles may never recover.- Morning, Jasper.- Morning.Two tries out of you today...Charles. You're to come away at once!I've got a basket of strawberriesand a bottle of Chateau Peyraguey,which isn't a wine you've ever tasted,so don't pretend.It's heaven with strawberries.Just the place to bury a crock of gold.I should like to burysomething preciousin every place where I've been happy.And, then,when I was old and ugly and miserable,I could come backand dig it up and remember.Come along, Charles.There's someone I want you to meet.- Is this where you live?- It's where my family live.Don't worry,you won't have to meet them.- Oh, but I should like to.- You can't. They're away.Everything's shut up.We better go this way.Keep up.Charles. Charles.Well, this is a surprise!How lovely to see you.Meet my new chum, Charles.Charles, this is Nanny Hawkins.This is who I wanted you to meet.- I don't think I know you, do I?- How do you do?Your friend has charming manners.What family are you from, Charles?- No family. I mean, no one important.- Charles is an artist.- He's going to paint me.- How jolly.You've come at just the right time.Lady Marchmain'son her way up from London.It's the Conservative Women's Tea.They always turn out for Brideshead.I'm afraid we may haveto miss them, Nanny.Your mother will be disappointed.I'm sure Her Ladyshipwould want to meet...Can't be done, I'm afraid.Got to get back or we'll be gated.I pray for my dear Sebastian every day.- Charles!- It was very nice to meet you.- Come along, Charles.- Couldn't we just have a quick look?We've seen who we came for.We can go.Just a little look.Don't be such a tourist, Charles.If you're that keen,you can see it all for a shillingon Queen Alexandra's Day.God, I loathe that painting!I could show you the chapel, I suppose,if we're quick.What did you do that for?- You're not Catholic, are you?- No.- I was just trying to fit in.- Well, don't.Come on, come on!Sorry, I'm afraid I don't have the knack.Charles, what are you doing?Car. Now.Who was that in the carwith your mother?- My sister.- What's she like?For goodness sake, Charles,I don't keep asking you questionsabout your family.But I've neverasked you anything before.You're so inquisitive.Well, you're so mysterious about them.I hoped I was mysteriousabout everything.Why don't you want meto meet your family?Who are you ashamed of, them or me?Don't be so vulgar, Charles.I'm not having you mixed upwith my family. You're my friend.I don't have a family.You have me.Sebastian and Charles,contra mundum.Contra mundum.Father?Father?- Back already?- Term's over.So soon?Thank you.- Father, I have to leave at once!- Oh, yes?A great friend of minehas had a terrible accident.- I must go to him.- May I?"Gravely injured.Come at once. Sebastian."I'm sorry you're upset.Reading this message,I would say that the accident was notas serious as you seem to suggestor it would not have been signedby the victim himself.Still, of course, he may well befully conscious, but horribly paralyzed.Remind me.Why is your presence necessary?I told you, he's a great friend.Well, I shall miss you, my boy,but don't hurry back on my account.Take your bag, sir?Excuse me!Are you Charles Ryder?Yes. Sorry. Hello.I'm Julia, Sebastian's sister.I've been sent to pick you up.Hop in, Mr. Ryder.- Case in the back.- Sorry, yes.How's Sebastian?- He's fine.- Fine?Did he tell you he was dying?Well, I thought... His message said...I expect he thoughtyou wouldn't come if you knew.He's not badly hurt, then?He cracked a bone in his footso small it hasn't even got a name.- How did it happen?- Playing croquet.I must admit,I did think it was a little queer,you traveling all this wayfor a croquet injury.I don't mind.It's wonderful to be here again.Is it? Why?Well, it's such a beautiful house,for one thing.I can't stand the place.Be an angel and light me one.There you are, at last!- I thought you were dying.- I thought I was, too.The pain was excruciating.Julia, ask Wilcoxto fetch us some champagne.- I hate champagne.- For our guest.Well, take your coat off. You'll boil.Come along, Charles.I thought you hated champagne.I do.I suppose Sebastian's told youall about us?No. No, nothing at all,as a matter of fact.And nor should I.What?- I take it you're not one of us?- Don't answer.I don't live like this,if that's what you mean.She means you're not a Catholic.Sorry, no. No, nothing at all.- You mean you're an atheist?- Well, yes, I suppose.Strictly speaking, we're C of E,but Father only ever goesfor Christmas and funerals.He likes those.- What about your mother?- She's dead.I was very young.She died working for the Red Cross.Which, given her devotion to good,does rather point upthe arbitrariness of it all.I see. So, you're here arbitrarily?He's here as my friend.Given Mr. Ryder'sstaunch position on religion,don't you think he ought to knowwhat he's getting into?Leave Charles out of it.- Tell me.- Oh, God.Mummy takes her faithvery seriously, indeed.So seriously, in fact,that our fat little priest, Father Mackay,called her a living saint.Mind you, he drinks.Sebastian and Iare a couple of heathens.I'm not a heathen, I'm a sinner.Cast out from God's love.As for you,you're not a heathen at all, not really.Why do we always end uptalking about family?It's time for my bath.Good evening, Mr. Ryder.Look after my brother.I don't think your sisterlikes me very much.I don't thinkshe cares for anyone much.I love her.She's like me.Drink in remembrance of me.Hang on.In fact, I know that that's checkmate.Come here.If only it could belike this always.Always summer.Always alone.Fruit always ripe.Cheers.Now,try this.- No?- It's a shy little wine. Like a gazelle.- Like a leprechaun.- Dappled in a tapestry meadow.A flute by still water.This is a wise old wine.A prophet in a cave.And thisis a string of pearls on a white neck.- A swan.- The last unicorn.Who's that?- Is that your brother?- Yes, that's Bridey.- He seems all right to me.- Wait till you meet him.Mother.Hello, there.Go away,we're not decent!- Mummy's here.- We know.She's invited Charles to dinner.It's not what weagreed upon, Sebastian,when we talked about thisat Christmas, when you came down.It's no use crying, darling.That's just childish.That's not going to help, is it?You see, darling,whatever yesterday's sins,we must all pray for God's forgiveness.So now, you try and try again now.Be a good boy.For God and for Mummy.Now, just put your shirt on now.Dining room's this way.Is Sebastian all right?He seemed upset.Oh.He and Mummy often have these talks.Flannels for dinner?Very bold, Mr. Ryder.- Will your mother mind?- Yes, she'll be appalled.No, don't worry.She'll be understanding.- Do you often do that?- What?- Say one thing, mean another?- Yes and no.Thank you.- Amen.- Amen.Welcome to Brideshead, Mr. Ryder.I've been hearing all about you.I do hope you didn't let Sebastiancall you away in too much of a rush.I'm afraid I didn't quite have timeto pack the right things.Sebastian must lend you some clotheswhile you're here.Or perhaps Bridey's a better fit.Are you a Brideyor a Sebastian, Mr. Ryder?He can't borrow Bridey's clothes.Bridey dresses like a bank clerk.Don't be vulgar, Cordelia.Vulgar is not the same as funny.I hope you've beenlooked after properly, Ryder.Has Sebastianbeen seeing to the wine?Yes. Sebastian's beenseeing to the wine.Delighted to hear it.- You're fond of wine?- Yes, very.I wish I were.It's such a bond with other men.At Christ Church, I tried to get drunkmore than once, but I didn't enjoy it.What do you enjoy, Bridey?Hunting, shooting,fishing.And what form do your pleasures take,Mr. Ryder?- Sorry, pleasures?- Your hobbies.- What do you do to relax?- He drinks.Drinking is not a hobby, Sebastian.- You live in London, is that correct?- Yes.- Whereabouts?- Paddington.You live in a railway station?No, no. Sorry. No, I live nearby.I see.And has this ledto an interest in trains?No.So, are you closewith Sebastian's crowd?Not really.- With Anthony Blanche?- We're acquainted.Charles is a painter, Mummy.How charming.We must get youto paint something for us.- Would you do that, Mr. Ryder?- I'd be delighted.I think Brideshead's the mostbeautiful house I've ever seen.- It's utterly magical.- How kind you are.Summer at Brideshead.Mr. Ryder must stay with usfor the rest of the vacation.As a matter of fact,I've just heard from Papa.He wants me to go and see himin Venice. And Julia.I see.And do you intendto accept this invitation?Yes. Why not?What about you, Julia?Will you be going?I'd like to.Wouldn't you ratherstay at Brideshead?Well, yes, if you want me to.- You must not neglect your duty.- No, Mother.I think we might spend a little timein the chapel after dinner.- Would you join us, Mr. Ryder?- Thank you.You do know Charles is an atheist?An agnostic, surely.Actually, no.But you'll join us, anyway,out of curiosity.Thank you.- No Sebastian?- No, Mummy.Charles, are you really an atheist?- Yes, I am.- How awful for you.I'll put you on my prayer list.I have a long list of people I pray for,including six black Cordelias in Africa.It's a new thing. You send five bobto some nuns in Africa,and they christen a baby after you.Right.Thy will be done,on earth as it is in heaven.Give us this day our daily bread,and forgive us our trespassesas we forgivethose who trespass against us.And lead us not into temptation,but deliver us from evil.Amen.Have you everbeen to Venice, Mr. Ryder?No. No, I haven't.Every ambitious young manshould visit Venice.It makes one sound more complete.I was thinking, if Sebastian were to go,it might be a good thingif you were to accompany him.He needs someone plausibleby his side.I gather last time he was there, he wasbefriending some very odd types.It's youthful high spirits, I understand,but in the end,we must all accept God's limits.Atheist, or no.I know I can rely on you.You seem to mea very reliable young man.- San Giovanni e Paolo.- Oh, dear.I can seeyou're going to be impossibly curious.By the way, I should warn you.Our lovely father is rather a scoundrel.He livesin one of the palazzos with Cara.- Who's Cara?- His mistress.Poor Papa's rather shunned by society.Not the Italians, of course.They adore him.- Santa Maria dei Miracoli.- I know. I've seen the postcard.- My dear boy!- Darling, Papa.- You look so young!- Do you think so?I've taken to playing tennisat the Lido with a professional.Cara thinks I'm getting far too fat.Julia, come here.- Father.- My child.- I wasn't sure if you'd come.- Mummy gave me her blessing.Blessed by your mother.What a saint that woman is.You know, I used to try everythingto please her.Julia, this is your friend, Mr. Ryder?- Charles is my friend, Papa.- I see.- Delighted.- How do you do, sir?- Welcome to Venice.- Here's Cara. Now we can eat.Come along now. This way.Don't look so greedy. It won't go away.Sorry.I wasn't sure you'd come to Venice.Your father seemedpleased to see you.I'm not sure Fathercares much if I come.He'd probably be just as happyif it was only Sebastian.They adore each other.They're alike in so many ways.- Who are you like?- Me?Oh.Nobody.I'm the family shadow.Drinks.- Julia.- Cara.Mr. Ryder, Sebastian tells meyou are a painter.- Charles is an artist.- Good.Well, then I will show you all thegreat art of Canaletto and Veronese.He never goes anywhere.Such a philistine.I don't mind the art.It's religion I can't stand.The Italians seem unableto paint anything half decentwithout putting Christ dying in it.Of course, your mother loved Italy.- A piet?on every street corner.- Don't be cruel.On the contrary, she'd be flattered.God was always her first love.- Mummy loves all of us equally.- Come now, Julia.You were the one who walked away!What must you think of us, Mr. Ryder?- A family of monsters, are we not?- No, not at all.I lost my mother when I was young.Tell me, Mr. Ryder, as an artist,what did you make of Brideshead?I thought it was magnificent.You think that? Really?And now, here you are in Venice.What a lot of temptations.He walks for two hoursevery day. He wants to be immortal.But he's quite fragile, you know, inside.That woman nearly suffocated him.- She's been very kind to me.- Oh, yes. I'm sure. But you will see.Well, just look at her children.Even when they were tiny,in the nursery,they must dowhat she want them to do,be what she want them to be.Only then, would she love them.It's not Lady Marchmain's fault.Her God has done that to her.But surely you're Catholic, too?Yes, but a different sort.It's different in Italy. Not so much guilt.We do what the heart tell us,and then we go to confession.Sebastian loves you very much, I think.There you are.They're very good,these romantic English friendships,if they don't go on too long.For you, it's just a,how do you say, "a phase"?But I think it's more than thatfor poor Sebastian.Tread carefully, Mr. Ryder.Come on.- Hello.- No! No!Come on.Got you.- Can't sleep.- Try pajamas.I enjoyed the beach today.I hope I wasn't too rough.You were very sweet.Charles?There you are.Sorry.Lots to drink.I'm so glad you're here.- I'm glad you're here.- I'm glad I came.- Did I say I'm glad you're here?- You're really glad I'm here?Let's get plastered.- If you want.Oh, yes, I do. I want. I want.There's a wonderful chapelnear here!You will see a masterpiece, I tell you.The devil's got his eye on you!Well, then you must protect me.Julia!Julia.I got lost. All those people.What are you doing?What's the matter?No!Funny old religion, isn't it?Sebastian,what happened just now...I never meant you to...If I'd known it was going to happen,I'd never have...I don't know what I'm supposed to...Checkmate.I'm boring you.Perhaps it is dull for you here.You've been enjoying yourself?- I've been in Venice.- Oh, yes, yes, I suppose so.The friend you wereso much concerned about, did he die?- No.- I'm very thankful.You should have written to tell me.I worried about him so much.Watch out, Flyte!- Sebastian!- Sebastian!- Leave me alone!- Damn. Where is he? The bastard.- Who?- Mr. Samgrass.- Who's Mr. Samgrass?One of Mummy's gang.Fat little Catholic from All Souls.Bastard's been set up to follow me.I wouldn't mindif he wasn't so infernally ugly.God, I feel a hundred years old.Why haven't you called round?I've been worried.I was beginning to thinkthey hadn't sent you up.- Since Venice.- Yes.- Damn! There he is again.- Who? What are you talking about?- Mr. Samgrass! There!- Do you mind?Mummy's hired him to watch me.- What does he want?- My head on a plate.Look, if he's bothering you,I can stop him.Dear Charles, always so certain.- I'm not certain of anything.- Aren't you?By the way, Mummy's here.She has to talk to you.Probably wants youto spy on me as well.Don't be like that.Why don't I come roundto your rooms later?I'm not sure I want to see you anymore.I'm so sorry.So, Charles,- how was Venice?- Venice was fine.- A strange way to put it.- It was beautiful.Speaking as an artist or a man?I want a word with youabout Sebastian.I'm concerned about him.- Tea?- No, thank you.- Why? Should I be?- He's drinking too much.You must have noticed.After all, I sent you to look after him.Yes, I supposewe both drink too much, really.No, not at all. You drink to get drunk,Sebastian drinks to escapethe claims of his conscience.I do wish I could understandwhy he's so particularly upset.Ever since he came back from Venice,he's been unreachable.- Did something happen there?- No.- You all had a good time?- Yes.I wonder what it could have been.I hope you didn't let Julia mislead you.- I don't understand.- I think you do.Please understand,I would not want youto make yourself look foolish, Charles.Her future is not a question of choice.It is a matter of faith.Were it simplya difference in upbringing,this I might overlook.But you are a self-proclaimed atheist,and my daughteris destined to marry a Catholic.God commands and we obey.However, we're forgetting ourselves.We're here to talkabout your friendship with my son.I'm not sure Sebastianwants to be my friend anymore.Because of Julia?But that is all cleared up now.We're giving a ball for Julia's 21 st.I'd like youto keep Sebastian company.You came to Bridesheadas my son's friend.If you haveunaccountably offended him,it is surely not too much to askthat you revisit your responsibilities.- To him or to you?- To the family.And, of course,Brideshead does look particularlybeautiful at this time of year.Tell me, I'm curious.Since, as you claim,you have no religion,what do you imagineyou are doing on this earth?Living my life, the same as you.But without faith,what could your purpose possibly be?I want to look back and say that I wasalive.That I didn't turn my back. That I tried.That I was happy.Happiness in this life is irrelevant.All that matters,the only thing of consequence,is the life hereafter.Ready for the off.A beautiful day for it, isn't it? Come on.Funny, isn't it?It's my little present to the family.- Rex Mottram. How do you do?- Charles Ryder.Good to meet you, Charles.Heard all about you.We should compare notes some time.- Going on the hunt?- I don't think so.Wise man. Load of Englishblue bloods on horseback.Got to fit in, though!Who is it?It's me.You could have knocked.I nearly spilt my drink.I did.Sit down.If only it could be like this always.- Always summer.- Ancient history.Pass me a towel.Where's that damn shirt?You're shaking. What is it?What's the matter?Don't you know, Charles?"Why this is hell, nor am I out of it."- Sebastian, if I've ever done anything...- It's not you.It's me.For God's sake, do stop mooning at melike a great big cow!I'm fine.I'm fine so longas I've got plenty of this.I want you to know thatwhatever happened in Venice,I'm not in your mother's gang,if that's what you think.I'm on your side.Contra mundum.Dear Charles,you're not in anybody's gang.That's always been your problem.Why are you going on the hunt?I thought you detested hunting.I do.I'm going to leave Brideyat the first covert,hack over to the nearest pub,and spend the whole day drinking.If they treat me like a dipsomaniac,they can bloody wellhave a dipsomaniac.Well, they can't stop you.They can, as a matter of fact,by not giving me any money.They've stopped my bank account.I've pawned my watchand cigarette case.That lasted for a bit,but that's all gone now.So, regretfully...Sebastian, I can't do that.- I thought you were on my side.- I am.Well, then.Look, why don't I come with you?It's miserable drinking alone.We could get drunk together,like we used to.No.I'm past all that.Thanks for the offer.Well?Are you with me or against me?Little bit further upon the shoulder, though.Sarah, look.Sort of up here.Ladies and gentlemen,it gives me great pleasure to announce,on top of the birthday festivities,the engagement of my eldest daughter,the Lady Julia Flyteto Mr. Rex Mottram.Yes, it's marvelous, isn't it.- Thank you, Charles. I'd love to dance.- Cordelia.- Cordelia, I'm...- Come along!- Charles?- Hmm?I hope you don't mind me asking,but modern art,- it is all bosh, isn't it?- Yes, it's all bosh.Good. I thought so.Get a grip, Charles!Rex! Rex, I need a better dancer.Yours for five minutes and no more.- Come along.- Okay.You're rather tall, aren't you?Is that a handicap?Why didn't you tell me?It's not Sebastian. I don't believe that.Charles, I can't do this.- When we kissed...- Please, stop!Why? It was wonderful.I know.I think about it all the time.I have no choice.- Oh, Sebastian.- Never mind.- Oh, Charles.- Don't!- Come along, old boy.- I don't want your help.You're in tweed, Sebastian.This is a ball.Bugger off, Bridey.You're worse than wet.You see... What it is...I hate you all so very much!- Sebastian.- Get off me!You don't care about me!All you ever wantedwas to sleep with my sister!Okay, Sebastian, that's enough.All right. I'm going.Charles,did you give Sebastian money today?Yes, I did.Knowing how he was likely to spend it?Yes.I don't understand.How could you be so nicein so many ways,and then do somethingso wantonly cruel?We all liked you so much.I don't understand how we deserved it.Do you think it's betterto make him feel like a criminal?Having him watchedevery second of the day?But you deliberatelyhelped him to drink.You're the reason he drinks,not me.All I did wastry to give him a little freedom.No, you just wanted him to like you.You're so desperate to be liked.I think you should leave now, Charles.Hello, there.Would you like me to hold the ladder?Yes, thanks.I'm Celia Mulcaster, by the way.Charles Ryder.I saw your paintings in the brochureand thought how charming they looked.No need to look so gloomy.If I had half your talent, I'd be delirious.You can thank me, if you want.Thank you.Would you like meto buy something now?Silent and grave,and then "pop," mouse is dead.- Charles.- Lady Marchmain.Thank you, Father.I'm so glad your sondidn't die of his injuries.Please, sit down.I'm fine, thank you.How did you know where I lived?My driver found you.The Ryders of Paddingtonare limited in number.I hear you have your first exhibitionat the Royal Academy.Congratulations.I'm sure you're not hereto ask me how I am.No. The last time we saw each other,it's true I spoke rather harshly.I'm not here to apologize.What I said, I meant.I took you into my confidence,and you betrayed me.I do hope you're not asking meto agree with you.- I act only as God directs.- Rubbish.God's your best invention.Whatever you want, he does.- I am not here to argue with you.- Good. I'm glad to hear it.The reason I calledwas to ask you a favor.A favor?Sebastian's gone missing.He's in a house in Morocco.I'm worried about him.I need you to bring him back.You banish me from your house,you poison my friendshipwith both your childrenand now you expect meto go begging on your behalf?There's no one else I can ask.Even if I were to agree,what makes you think Sebastianwould take any notice of me?Because he cared for you morethan he ever cared for anyone else.All I ever wanted was to see them safe.And all they do is hate me.I'll be at Brideshead.You may send word to me there.Driver!Driver!I'm looking for Sebastian Flyte.This is his house.- Who are you?- I'm his friend.In the local hospital.When you see him,tell him I'm still here.Your friendhas got the grippe.One of his lungs is full of fluid.He will recover. But travel with you?Not a chance.He's very weak. No resistance.What do you expect?He is an alcoholic.Here is your friend.What the hell are you doing here?Your mother asked me to come.She wants me to bring you back home,but the doctor saidit's out of the question for you to travel.I wouldn't, even if I could.I think...I think she's dying.Walk with me. I'm meant to exercise.Did you go to my house?Did you meet Kurt?Yes.He wanted you to knowhe was waiting for you.It's rather a pleasant change,when all your lifeyou've had people looking after you,to have someone to look after, yourself.I thought you'd want to go backto Brideshead one day.Brideshead?Are you mad?The place would still be full of her.I wouldn't go withina hundred miles of the place.I need to sit.I'm sorry.Whatever for?Everything.It's all right.Truly.I asked too much of you.I knew it all along, really.Only God can give you that sort of love.Come home, Sebastian.When you're well enough.Don't finish it like this.This is my life now.I'm happy here.I miss you.How sweet of you to say that.Dear Charles,it was my fault forbringing you to Brideshead.Run away.Run far away and don't ever look back.I'm sorry.You must be so proud of him.- Was he away long?- Two years,and it doesn't feel like a day.Hello, Charles.Did you know I was on the boat?If I said no, you wouldn't believe me.You're married now.Yes.- You haven't changed at all.- Neither have you.- How ridiculous.- Yes, isn't it?Tell me this is fate.- What?- Nothing.Tell me.I was thinking about Sebastian.Mummy died withoutever seeing him again.I know.Let's go up on deck.- Are you sure?- They're all asleep! Come on!Come on!Sorry.- So where's Rex?- I drowned him.Forgive me, Rex!Lady Julia, fancy meeting you here.- Mr. Ryder.- Could I possibly get you a drink?Dry martini, please.One dry Martini,one whiskey with water.Please, allow me.So, why did you marry Rex?I don't know. Because he wasn't you.- Because he was rich.- Because he was Catholic.Because Mummy approved,God rest her soul.I thought he was my painted savage.It turns out he wasthoroughly up to date.Thank you.Now, no more talk about Rex.He's in England.- Do you have children?- No.No.- What will you tell your wife?- Wait until London.I have a viewing to arrange.I'll sort it out. It'll be fine.- Where shall we go?- Somewhere abroad, like Daddy.- What about Italy? Capri?- Antibes.- Seville.- Verona.- Paris.- Brideshead.- No!- Why not?- It's the loveliest place on earth.- I can't go back there.- Not after this.- Nonsense.- We've nothing to apologize for.- No.Besides, Rex is there.Leave it to me.I'll settle things with Rex.I'll settle everything.Trust me.I do.- And stop worrying!- I will.Good afternoon, ma'am.- Lovely day.Mr. and Mrs. Ryder.Look, that's the Dukeand Duchess of Clarence.- They want to buy one!- How very gracious of them.Make an effort, Charles.I've got you the cream of Mayfair.Mrs. Ryder, good day.Charles, how charming you look.Anthony.I heard, quite by chance, at a luncheon,that you were having an exhibition.So, of course, I dashed impetuouslyto the shrine to pay homage.Where are the pictures?Let me explain them to you.This is simply charm.Simple, creamy, English charm,playing tigers.But enough of art.They tell me you are happy in loveand that is everything, isn't it?Or nearly everything.Everyone's talking about it.So, it's Julia now.And it used to be Sebastian.Do you think I should warn her?Warn her about what?How apropos that you'd havechosen jungles for your canvas.I always thought youwere the lamb to be slaughtered,when all along it is theywho are hunted.There really is no end to your hunger,is there, Charles?Why do I feel so nervous?- Don't be.- Who are all these people?- Politicians, money men.Rex thinks there's a warcoming with Hitler.He wants to do well out of it.- It's all he talks about.- Hello, Julia.- Hello, Rex.- Good evening, Rex.Mr. Ryder,welcome back to Brideshead.I hear you're makingquite a name for yourself.- Could I have a word with you?- Later, I have guests.It's cold.Not here!- Sorry.- Let's go back to London.- Let me settle everything with Rex.- And then we'll leave?- Yes? Charles?- Yes.If that's what you want.Hello, Bridey.- Hello, Julia. Just up from London?- Yes.Welcome back to Brideshead, Charles.- How's your family?- Fine, thank you.- Rex still entertaining?- He's got business.I'm sorry he's not here.I have a little announcement to make.Well, come on. Out with it.- I'm engaged to be married.- Congratulations, Bridey.Well, who is she?- No one you know.- Is she pretty?I don't think you couldexactly call her pretty."Comely" is the wordI think of in her connection.She is a big woman.- Fat?- No, big.She's called Mrs. Muspratt.Her Christian name is Beryl.But, Bridey, where did you find her?Her late husband, Admiral Muspratt,collected matchboxes.You're not marrying herfor her matchboxes, are you, Bridey?No, no.Matchboxes were leftto Falmouth Town Library.I'm just holding them for collection.Why are you laughing?- I hope you'll be very happy.- Thank you.- I think I'm very fortunate.- You sly, old thing.When are we going to meet her?You must bring her here.- I couldn't do that.- Why not?Well, you must understand,Beryl is a womanof strict Catholic principle,fortified by the prejudicesof the middle classes.I couldn't possibly bring her here.I don't understand.It may be a matter of indifferenceto you,whether or not you chooseto live in sin with Charles,but on no account would Berylconsent to be your guest.How dare you talk to her like that?Bloody offensive thing to say!Really, there was nothingshe could object to.I was merely statinga fact well known to her.Take no notice of him, my darling.So,got you. Sorry about the delay.I'll be outside.The door? Door's madefrom all the works of Dickens.I had it installed especially. Want one?No, thank you.I know what you're thinking.How vulgar can it get?You wanna know the secret?I do it on purpose.It amuses me to offendtheir delicate sensibilities.So, you wanna take my wife off me?You know she can't marrya divorc? right?- Against the rules.- Well, at least she'll be free of you.She'll never be free.Don't pretendyou've been faithful to her.Who said anything about faith?I bet you'd love to get your handson the house, though, wouldn't you?All those pretty paintings.All those pretty views.Let her go, Rex. You never loved her.The only thing you ever hadin common was religion.Wrong. When I decided to marry Julia,I wasn't a Catholic.I converted before the wedding.Bet she didn't tell you that.- I guessed.- Oh, yeah?You're the type.You people,you never learn.You could have had it allif you'd been a little more flexible.I did what I had to do.They want a Catholic,I'll convert to Catholicism.It's a great religion.You sin all you want, then you confess.Problem solved.You gotta woo these people.This family don't live in the real world.- They're mortgaged up to the hilt.- Get to the point.You want my wife? Make me an offer.- I'm not just giving her away.- Don't do this. It's demeaning.Try a little harder.You're a rich man, Rex,you've already got what you wanted.You can never have enoughof what you want.No, you're right.You're taking her off my hands.That's a favor.I'll tell you what I'll do.You give me a couple of your junglepics, and I'll give you an annulment.I hear you're worth collecting.Come on, Charlie boy, say yes.You know you want to.You don't have to speak.Just nod.I'll have my driver take me to London.He can pick up the paintingsin the morning.You know she's mad.Can't even give you children.Lost the only one we had.Julia?I'm so sorry. I didn't know.- It's just a shock.- Shh.Shh. Don't.I've always known, ever since nursery.I tried to be good, I really did.I tried. I married Rex.All through the backgammonand cigars, I tried.But it's not enough. It's never enough.God had to punish me.So he took my little stillborn...My child. My girl.With you, I thought I couldreally and truly be free.But coming back here, it's like a thread,an invisible thread drawing you back,inch by inch,until all of a sudden,you're a child again.And that voice inside your head,the one that Mummy plantedall those years ago in the nursery,every night in the nursery,filling your head with it.And the voice is telling you,whispering,"Wicked little Julia,bad little girl, living in sin."And here I am again with you,living in sin.It's over. It's over now.- Everything set?- That's everything, sir.- Thank you, Wilcox.- Best of luck, sir.Who's that?Go back. Turn around.I have to go back.- Staff, immediately!- Yes, sir.Come on, quickly now!I'll help with that.Come on, hurry!- Yes, sir.Shall I help, Tompkins?- Hurry!The sedan chair.- Right, very gently. Very gently.Hurry.- Get a move with the chair.Come along, come along.Somebody got the rug?Up. Gently.Clear the stairs, please.- Could I have the medical bag?- Father!- Dear Julia.Come on, please. Come on!I'm sorry, I was to call,but we have been travelingwithout a stop for three days.It was Cordelia,she was visiting us in Venice...What happened?- We want the bed readyas soon as possible.His heart. Some long word at the heart.Hurry up.He's dying.He has come home to die.Come on, everybody, that's it.Chop-chop.Come along.We must get Lord Marchmainto the great dining room.Thank you.He's sleeping.Do you think we shouldlet Sebastian know?You could, but I doubt he'd come.The last I heard of him,he was still struggling rather.The monks have him as a porterin the hospital in Morocco.He seems to like it.I think they've rather taken himunder their wing, dear old thing.Still, salvation of a sort.Bridey, you need to call for a priest.I'll have a word with Father Mackayabout dropping in this evening.Julia, your father doesn't want a priest.All he wants is to die in his old home.Our father's soul, all sinners' souls,face mortal danger.It is our duty as Catholicsto see that we do all in our powerto save those we love from themselves.Hateful woman.She wants me dead.What about you?- Do you want me dead?- No.You know the familyare sending for a priest.They seem determinedto drag God into it.Why should you care?You don't believe in God.You said so yourself.Have you suddenlybecome my conscience?I've already seen Sebastianruined by God.I don't see why I should watch ithappen again with your daughter.How very caring of you.You forget, I was there.I watched that woman crucify my son,little by little, and I was silent.What does that say about me?You're not responsiblefor what she did.But are we not alsoour brother's keeper?You, Charles, and me?I let Sebastian down.I let everyone down.This way, sir.Dear, no, that's too many!- Papa...- Your father needs to rest!- Get him away.- I've brought Father Mackay to see you.- Get him away! Get him away!- Out!Everybody out! Out! Out!- I'm so sorry, Father.- Not at all. Give him time.I've known worse casesmake beautiful deaths.What were you talkingto my father about?He doesn't want a priest.Please, Charles.Please don't interfere with mattersthat don't concern you.Julia...Let's get out of here.We'll go to Italy.- Capri.- I can't leave now, my father's dying.When this is over,I can make you happy.- Why should I believe you?- Believe me.You just bought me from Rex.What are you talking about?According to you,I'm worth two pictures.I thought I'd fetch at least three.Don't be ridiculous.- That was Rex.- You agreed to it, Charles.- I had no choice!- You agreed!I thought I was doing the right thing.I thought I was doing what you wanted.No, you thought you were getting meand the house, together.- Is that really what you think?- You tell me. Please, tell me.What does Charles Ryder really want?Can you imagine what it was likefor me to be invited into Brideshead?Me,Charles Ryder,"the painter from Paddington,"as your mother so sweetly put it.There was no humiliationI would not have enduredjust to be part of that dream.And your mother, that woman is morealive now than she ever was.She's in every brick,every stone, every slate.Sebastian was right.We should run away.- Why did you bring me here?- We can still leave.- Bridey...- Don't interfere, Charles.Now, try and remember your sinsand tell God you're sorry.I'm going to give you absolution now.And while I'm giving it,I want you to tell God you're sorryyou offended him,and then I want youto make a sign, if you can.- Amen.- Amen.Amen.Please, God,please, if you're there, forgive him.Forgive me. Oh, God, forgive me.Let him have a sign.Sebastian used to loathe this painting.Daddy gave it to Mummyas a wedding present.Tell me.I wanted too much.It's nobody's fault.But you're not coming with me.I can't shut myself off from His mercy.Can you understand that?I don't want to make it easier for you.I hope your heartbreaks.But I do understand.I have to let you go.Whether by fate or thedivine ironies of some higher power,I find myself returned once moreto Brideshead.Let it go.Did I want too much?Get him out of my sight!Did my own hunger blind me tothe ties that bound them to their faith?Am I only now, shadowed by war,all moorings gone,alone enough to see the light?Worst place we've struck yet.No facilities, no amenities,and the nearest villageis a five-mile walk.Mind you, there's a rumorof a big push coming.They'll be shippingus off to France soon.Yes, very soon.Where are the family now?Does anyone know?Some Lady Flyte liveson her own here, normally.She's overseaswith the women's service.Her elder brother died in the Blitz.They're all Roman Catholic.- I take it you're not religious, Hooper.- Me? God, no. Can't see the point in it.You're born, you live, then you die.Do you have any hopesfor the future, Hooper?Hopes? Oh, aye, plenty.It's our time now. You watch.The old ways, all this, they're gone.Future belongs to us,so long as we don't get shot.How about you, sir?You got someonespecial waiting for you?Me? No.I've loved and lostfor more than one lifetime.Would you like meto drive you back, sir?No, not yet. Carry on, Hooper.Very good, sir.Sergeant!Special thanks to SergeiK.

一星给配乐画面，一星给小本的颜。

其实电影版里的一个细节是我无论如何不能忍的——就是那句重要的、在原著中反复出现、甚至在标题中都出现了两次的“Sebastian contra mundum ”在电影里被错放了位置，甚至被大大亵渎了。

在David Cliffe 给BR原著写的注解里，对这句拉丁语是这么解释的，“ With Sebastian, against the world’ (Latin); an expression of profound loyalty ”，而这种“profound loyalty ”在之前许多波折之后简直让我忍不住眼泪。

BR唯一的中译版里，这句话被译成“不合世俗的塞巴斯蒂安”，我看过的另一种翻译是“塞巴斯蒂安挑战世界”，但不论哪一种，都漏掉了那个“with”，更淡去了那种让人痛心的“profound loyalty "。

而这句话其实是Charles 夹在Sebastian 和他家庭之间以来，几经Lady Marchmain拉拢，深思熟虑之后的一句对Seb绝对忠诚的承诺——“和你一起，对抗世界”。

在Charles对Seb讲的那许多隐秘晦涩而无声的情话里，这句无疑是分量极重又掷地有声的，而不论是在原著里，或是在TV剧中，Charles从未违背过这句承诺，甚至在我看来，他后来同Julia在一起，也是对这个承诺的一种扭曲的维系。

TV剧里Charles说出这句承诺后，轻蔑地将Lady Marchmain赠给他的小册子往桌上一扔，而一旁的Seb则露出了一种“不愧是我看上的人”的近乎得意与骄傲的表情，然后他就要酒喝，Charles也不拦。

而电影却把这句如此重要的表白放在了Charles和Seb第一次造访白庄归来的途中，甚至让Seb自己说出这句话，前面还接着一句“you have me”，而Charles之后跟着重复了一遍“contra mundum”，用的是一种戏谑调笑的语气，加之后来他对Seb的辜负，简直让这句忠心耿耿的情话完全变成了凉薄的笑话。

如果不是为了迎合大众口味拍什么三角恋搞噱头，那只能说影片的制作方完全误读了原著最根深蒂固的情深与无奈。

ps：我非常喜欢小本，但喜欢不代表无脑吹，也许在这一版被改得面目全非的电影里，小本演一个受尽辜负的少爷是合适的，但却并非是一个盛极而衰的少爷，而是一个落魄已久、无法骄傲、只剩敏感易碎的少爷——像那个小了一号的Aloysius、仅仅一抔的草莓和区区一束用来道歉的水仙。

忍不住去想如果AA的Seb出现在电影里，那他大概带着自己那种无顾绘画与教堂，而寻找花香与蝴蝶的半梦半醒的眼神，早在他们第一次午餐会时——当时Charles在长桌另一头大谈绘画较之相片更有情——Seb早就把他囫囵和教堂之流归为一类，弃之不顾了，哪还有给他辜负自己的机会。

总之说对我而言，小本“演过”Seb，而AA“就是”Seb。

If you asked me now who I am, the only answer I could give with any certainty would be my name.For the rest,my hates,my loves,down even to my deepsest desires,I can no longer say whether this emotions are my own,or stolen from those I once so desperately wished to be.比《赎罪》好。

似乎，這是一部“重口味”的電影，因為有男人之吻。

所以，在推薦給親愛者看之前，我先會打預防針：“姐，別當男A、男B是同性戀哈。

”其實是不是不重要，關鍵是怕觀者有道德或生理上的焦慮，感覺壓抑；或者就是“智商不夠”，模糊焦點。

電影畫面唯美，兩男生雖英俊曖昧但並非同性戀，而是男B在驕傲的母親以神的名義施以的重壓下太孤單。

要理解和欣賞這部電影，關鍵在於了解貫穿這部電影的主線：一直貌似以一個英俊優秀的“人的行為和價值觀”質疑這大宅中的一家人的男A，一生鬱鬱寡歡的根本原因，就在于他一生的夢想就是和這家人和這座大宅親近。

而他一生都在以無神論的姿態批判著這家人。

直到最後他才意識到，恰恰是對神的拒絕使他失去了和這家人及美麗的大宅親近的機會。

這家人悲劇的原因不是信仰的有無，也不是母親是壞蛋，而是母親對神和對人示愛的方式有錯。

對兒子，她是愛的：賞給在牛津花天酒地的兒子鵪鶉蛋、請男A做兒子好友、最後行將就木放低三重身段（長輩的尊嚴、貴族的驕傲、世俗的禮儀），去求被自己趕走的男A把兒子從摩洛哥帶回家。

對滯留威尼斯離家不歸、僻另宅養“小三”的丈夫她是寬容的，甚至也是客觀的，并不因丈夫行為遷怒威尼斯這座“絕美之城”（意大利總是有許多絕美之城），也不阻礙子女拜訪父親。

相反，他告訴力圖成為藝術家的男A：——你去過威尼斯嗎，Ryder先生？

——沒去過。

——每個雄心勃勃的年輕人都應該去趟威尼斯，它使人更完整。

這家人：大兒子被母親“廢了”，平庸順服，但是，他仍有對異己的尊重，對出軌的妹妹和男A抱有寬容。

有“我不同意你的作為，但我尊重你的所為”的氣度；大女兒蠢蠢欲動想叛逆而不可行，波光瀲滟中的吻她也時常回味，但仍然抗拒不了宿命下嫁一個名分上的教徒，實際上夫君觊觎的是大宅财产。

宗教的“非我族類”極端的時候於人於己都相當殘忍；小兒子有《大河之戀》和《燃情歲月》里布拉德皮特追求狂放自由的“自然人”的狂野，但缺少皮特的霸氣、堅強和實際生存能力；小女兒做到了信仰和實際人生的和諧，如一陣吹過大宅的清風，平靜、平庸、清涼。

爸爸和小兒子惺惺相惜，不同的是，作為成年人，他有逃跑享樂的可能。

在葉落歸根的最後，無論是為安慰家人還是最後與神妥協，他划出了十字架。

信仰原來一直滲透在這家人血脈之中，不管你抗拒或接受。

懦弱的孤獨的倒霉的男B，只有抱著曾被姐姐故意丟棄的洋娃娃，從大宅和家人遠遠地放逐自己。

但是，他們，包括母親，都有男A所處家庭階級及文化背景（無論是經濟、信仰、個人氣質、生活方式）所沒有的高貴、優雅、善良和風度。

就是這種風度，讓男A一生魂牽夢縈，欲罷不能。

表面上，整個片子都仿佛是一個有非凡才能，漂亮聰明且自尊優雅的無神論者對男B母親虔誠信仰的批判，在和母親爭奪兒子和女兒，直到“故園風雨後”，他才意識到，他的愛原來也曾如此貪婪傲慢：——我是否要得太多？

是不是我自己的慾望，讓我忽視了他們與信仰之間的紐帶？

——是不是只有在戰爭的陰影之下，精神支柱已然崩塌，孑然一人之時，我才能看到信仰之光？

如果沒有這段話，片子傳達的就是庸俗的“神人交戰”的橋段，從而魅力大減。

片尾，男A獨自進入大宅小教堂，用聖水淨手，遲疑著要不要把燭火掐滅，但最終Let Be.表達了他對大宅、對這家人、對宗教信仰即便不是認可，也有敬意和尊重。

有时候，因为一个镜头就会想看一个电影。

前几天在微博上看到本•肖恩回眸的一个动图，看留言是电影《故园风雨后》，感觉名字很中国化，但是那个镜头让人动容。

他差不多是光头，穿着一件棕色的袍子，像一个和尚似的感觉，身形瘦削，回望的眼神说不出的绝望哀恸。

我也说不清楚为什么，就直接找到电影来看了。

断断续续用了两天才看完，第二天并不是接着前一天看完，而是从头再看了一遍。

在剑桥读历史的查尔斯和出身豪门的塞巴斯蒂安相遇之后，告诉他自己的理想是成为一个画家。

有人问他：“你想成为一个艺术家，有什么意义？

你干嘛不直接买个相机拍那些该死的照片？

”他说：“因为相机只是件机械，它只能记录时间的一瞬间，但不能表达出那一瞬间的意义或衍生出的情感。

而绘画，无论有多不完美，都体现出感受体现出爱，而不是简单复制。

”有人接着问：“你认为究竟谁在乎你的感受？

”然后大家都哄笑起来。

那时候塞巴斯蒂安说：“我在乎。

”后来他们一起骑着单车游玩，一起划船，坐在树下喝酒聊天。

看着眼前的美景，塞巴斯蒂安说：“这个地方适合埋藏一罐金子，我应该在我很快乐的每个地方埋下点珍贵的东西。

然后等我又老又丑很痛苦的时候，回来把它们挖出来，慢慢回味。

”听着他这样说，又快乐又感伤，想起之前查尔斯说他想成为画家的时候，塞巴斯蒂安说他不知道自己想要什么，除了要自己快乐。

而此刻，他是那么快乐地爱着查尔斯。

他带着查尔斯去他家的庄园，那个像一个宫殿一样豪华的地方。

查尔斯惊叹地问这是他住的地方吗，他说是他家族住的地方，不过他不用见他们，查尔斯说可是他很乐意见他们。

他说他见不到他们，他们出门了。

后来听到他家人就要回来了，他带着查尔斯赶快逃离。

查尔斯说关于他们他很神秘。

他说希望希望关于任何事情他都很神秘。

查尔斯问：“你为什么不想我见你的家人，你在羞愧什么，他们还是我？

”他说：“别这么俗气，查尔斯。

我不想把你和我的家庭混在一起，你是我的朋友。

”查尔斯说：“我没有家庭。

”他说：“你有我。

”然后他揽着他的肩膀说：“塞巴斯蒂安和查尔斯挑战世界。

”后来他们几乎一整个夏天都在一起度过，在庄园里面到处游玩，追逐，游泳，他的脚伤了查尔斯推着轮椅疯狂地奔跑，给他画像。

查尔斯说：“永远都这样就好了。

”塞巴斯蒂安接到：“永远是夏天，永远独自一人。

”这句话似乎很让人惊讶，明明两个人在一起却要说独自一人，真是不合逻辑。

但是却让我在微微一惊之余会心一笑，因为他们之间太有默契了，两个人在一起就像一个一样自由，和谐，快乐，不会因为有人闯入产生误解而觉得那个美妙的世界被人打扰和侵犯——和他在一起就像独自一人那样。

就像我很多次说的那样，两个互相理解，心灵相契的人在一起绝对不会感到束缚，只会更加开心。

他们在夕阳余晖中品酒，用文学的感觉和语言去描述美酒的滋味，真是妙趣无穷。

然后很自然地轻吻，真是甜蜜，就像永远会那样，永远都是夏天，永远独自一人，那个世界不会被外界侵犯。

那段时光的一切，是塞巴斯蒂安一生中最美妙的，最幸福的记忆吧。

那么快乐，那么单纯的美好，就是逝去了也永远拥有。

所以后来那种美好被损害之后，他所做的只是弃绝，绝对没有一丝一毫的留恋，从不想再修复，他知道试图修复的话只能带来更大的伤害，也违背了他心中的美。

——尝尝这个。

不喜欢吗？

——味道很羞涩的酒，就像瞪羚。

——像小妖精。

——它披着田园斑点的挂毯。

——在湖边吹笛子——这是瓶聪慧且古老的酒。

——像洞穴里的先知。

——而这一瓶，犹如洁白颈项上的长串珍珠。

——天鹅。

——最后一只独角兽。

后来他们去了威尼斯，塞巴斯蒂安的父亲逃离家庭，和他的情人住在威尼斯。

他宁愿被社会摒弃在外，也不要和他妻子马奇梅因夫人在一起生活，她的宗教快要让他窒息了。

他的情人对查尔斯说，在塞巴斯蒂安和茱莉亚很小的时候，他们就得按照她的意愿做事，照着她的意思长大，只有这样，她才会爱他们。

这不是马奇梅因夫人的错，是她信仰的上帝让她变成这样的。

查尔斯说那那她不也是天主教徒吗？

她说没错，但是不一样，在意大利是不一样的，没那么多罪恶，他们随心所欲做想做的事，然后去告解。

他们在威尼斯尽情地欣赏美景，喝酒游玩。

在那里，查尔斯追上一直若即若离躲避着他的茱莉亚，和她接吻。

她的吻是那么动人，就像啜饮着最珍贵的佳酿，是那么沉醉忘情，是爱情和欲望完美的交织。

因为她一开始就知道她什么都不可能得到，这是她生命中唯一的一次沉醉。

很快她就按照母亲的安排，嫁给了别人。

当他指责她的时候，提到威尼斯那一吻。

他说“那是如此美好”，她说“我知道，我一直都在回味”。

可是一切都不能改变命运，再怎么美好的东西在他们的信仰，在她母亲对他们的控制面前都是渺小的无能为力的，根本不值一提，更何况茱莉亚也并没有想要违抗。

她母亲对查尔斯说：“她的未来不是个选择的问题，而是信仰的必然。

如果仅是家境的差异，这方面我也许会忽略，但你自封为无神论者，而我女儿注定要嫁给天主教徒，这是上帝的指示，而我们必须遵从。

”她还指责查尔斯给塞巴斯点钱蓄意帮助他喝酒：“你怎么能在大部分时候都那么善良的情况下，做出这么残酷的事情？

我们都那么喜欢你，我不懂为什么我们要承受这样的事实。

”查尔斯说：“你觉得让他感觉自己是罪犯一样比较好吗？

让他每分每分每秒都受到监控？

你才是他酗酒的理由，不是我。

我所做的事情只是让他享受一点自由。

”好多年之后，她去找查尔斯，塞巴斯蒂安去了摩洛哥，她想让他去把他带回来。

查尔斯说：“你把我驱逐出你的房子，你毒害了我跟你两个孩子之间的友谊，现在你希望我用你的名义去祈求。

就算我愿意帮你，你觉得塞巴斯蒂安怎么可能会理我？

”她说：“因为他在乎你的程度远超过任何人。

”是的，塞巴斯蒂安在乎他胜过任何人，但他却只是和他一起享乐，从来都没有爱过他。

塞巴斯蒂安在威尼斯看到他和朱利安接吻的时候非常震惊，他拒绝了查尔斯的解释和友好，开始放纵自己酗酒，以至于家人断绝了他的经济来源。

查尔斯再次去庄园找他，对他说“如果永远都这样就好了，永远是夏天”，他很不耐烦地悲哀地说“都是陈年往事了”。

他深爱着那段时光，但一点都不留恋，因为那已经被伤害了。

往日那个快活的，意气风发的少年，已经非常瘦弱，憔悴不堪，整天借酒浇愁。

——如果我做错了什么……——不关你的事。

是我自己的事。

我没事，只要我喝够了这个，就会没事。

——我想让你知道，无论在威尼斯发生了什么事，我都不是你母亲的爪牙。

如果你心里是这么想的话，我是你这边的。

挑战世界。

——亲爱的查尔斯，你不属于任何人，这才是你的问题所在。

他说：“为何这世界是地狱，我无法逃离？

”我不知道这是不是谁的诗句，只是他哀伤的眼神让人心痛。

事实上，只有他一个人逃离了一切，因为他不想从这世间祈求什么。

我非常欣赏他的是，他能够那么投入地单纯地去爱一个人，当感到伤害的时候却不祈求爱恋，只是非常决绝地离开，拒绝一切怜悯，独自伤感，对别人毫无怨言。

这也正是他让我感到疼痛的地方，那些曾经埋下的金子能够再次挖出来回味吗，回味的时候会很快乐吗？

在摩洛哥再次看到他的时候，他比之前还要瘦弱憔悴，可是很平静。

因为他已经逃离了那个地狱。

他的小屋破败不堪，但是里面有他的留声机，有音乐在流动，只可惜他在医院里。

他病得很严重，不适宜旅行，即使可以他也绝对不会再回到那个已经逃离的地方了。

看到查尔斯之后他很惊讶，但却没有欣喜。

查尔斯也只是奉命去找他，并没有想和他在一起，并且告诉他去摩洛哥是他母亲的意思。

看到有人说他让他走他就走了，事实上他也没有说让他走，只是没有挽留也不想挽留。

而他也没想留下来，甚至他有点迫不及待地逃走了，毫无留恋，只想逃离他的愧疚吧，谁有愿意停留在痛苦里面呢？

他不爱他，才会那样离开。

人要为自己打算没有错，为了自己的快乐和自由没有错，但是如果爱他，他就会成为你的快乐，就是你的事情。

如果他爱他，又怎么可能离开他？

心痛还来不及。

——你来这里做什么？

——你母亲请我过来，她希望我可以带你回家，但医生说你不可能旅行。

——就算可以，我也不想。

——我觉得，我觉得她快死了。

——陪我散散步，我需要运动。

你去过我房子了吗？

你有遇到Kurt吗？

——有。

他想要让你知道，他还在等你。

——真是个令人欣喜的转变啊！

在我的一生中总是需要被人照顾我，现在也有人需要我了。

——我还以为你有一天会想要重回故园庄园。

——故园庄园。

你疯了吗？

那地方还是会到处充满她的影子。

那地方方圆百里内我都不会靠近。

我得坐下。

——我很抱歉。

——道什么歉？

——为了一切。

——没关系。

真的。

我向你要求太多。

我早就知道了，真的。

只是上帝能给我那样的爱。

——回家吧，塞巴斯蒂安，等你康复之后。

不要这样了结一生。

——这就是我现在的生活。

我在这里很快乐。

——我很想念你。

——你这么说真是太好了，亲爱的查尔斯。

带你去故园庄园是我的错。

逃跑吧，逃得远远的，永远不要回头。

直到最后，我才明白了，其实塞巴斯蒂安早就知道查尔斯的心思，所以才忠告他逃开故园庄园，永远也不要回头。

可是他却从一开始就不排斥上流社会，从一开始就对庄园和那里面生活的人充满了向往。

多年之后，他成为一个画家，并且重新得到了茱莉亚。

他满足了茱莉亚丈夫的要求，用两幅画把她买了过来。

在他的画展上，塞巴斯蒂安曾经的一个朋友说他以前和塞巴斯蒂安在一起，现在又是茱莉亚：“你的欲望还真是永无止境啊！

我以前以为你是待宰的羔羊，原来你才是最后的狩猎者。

”或许这才是他的真实面目吧。

茱莉亚问他：“告诉我，查尔斯•莱德真正想要的是什么？

”他说：“你知不知道当初我被邀请到故园做客的时候，我是怎样的感受？

我，查尔斯•莱德，‘来自帕丁顿的画家’，你母亲亲切地这么称呼，我可以忍受一切的屈辱，只要最后的梦想成功。

而你的母亲，现在那个女人比任何时候都更加真实地存在，她存在于每块砖木中，每块石头中，每块石板中。

塞巴斯蒂安说得对，我们应该离开这里。

”他终于没有把他一直以来的想法付诸行动，没有让自己变得卑劣，但是茱莉亚最终却选择了她一贯的生活，她说她不能将上帝的仁慈拒之门外。

这个故事中探讨的宗教问题是我所不懂的事情，我只看到除了塞巴斯蒂安之外的人似乎都已经向现实妥协，就是无神论者查尔斯最终也在质疑自己。

又过了很多年，成为军官的他再次回到故园庄园时，困惑地说：“不知是命运使然还是上帝之力的讽刺，我再一次回到了故园庄园。

我是否要得太多？

是不是我自己的欲望，让我忽视了他们与信仰之间的纽带？

是不是只有在战争的阴影之下，精神支柱已然崩塌，孑然一人之时，我才能看到信仰之光？

”看一下查尔斯曾经和马奇梅因夫人的一段对话吧：——既然你是个无神论者，你没有宗教信仰，你怎么看你诞生到世上的目的？

——过我自己的生活，如同你一样。

——你没有信仰，你生活的目的又是什么呢？

——我想要回顾一生，然后说我确实活过一遭，我没有放弃生活，我尝试过挣扎，我很快乐。

——幸福在此生是无关紧要的。

唯一重要的，是往生之后的世界。

再看看查尔斯和他的士兵的对话吧：——你是不信教的吧？

——我才不。

我不知道教义有何意义，人就是出生，生活，然后死去。

——你对未来有什么希望吗？

——希望？

有啊，很多呢。

现在是我们的时代了，过时的东西，所有这些，都要消失。

只要我们能活下去，未来就是我们的。

你呢，长官，是不是有人还在等着你？

——我，没有。

我经历的挚爱与失去已经够多了。

这个电影用的是多次倒叙的方式，一开始就是作为军人的查尔斯回到故园庄园的内心独白：“如果你问我我是谁，我唯一能给出的确定回答，是我的名字，查尔斯•莱德。

至于其它，我的爱，我的恨，我心最深处的欲望，我不能肯定这些情感是真的属于我，还是从那些我梦寐成为的人身上偷来的。

再想了想，有一种情感依然属于我——孤独浮游在借来的情感乱流中，纯粹得像我仍在逃避的信仰——内疚。

”这个电影让我伤感极了。

塞巴斯蒂安的快乐，他的纯真，他的颓废，他的清醒，他的哀伤——无一不在牵动着我的心。

此刻说到这些，突如其来汹涌的泪水，让我突然想起了他的小熊阿洛伊休斯 Aloysius。

在我看电影的过程中，以及看过之后这几天，竟然全然忘记了它的存在。

只是在刚看完的时候查了一下，这个小熊是有原型的。

它是陪伴英国桂冠诗人约翰•贝杰曼（John Betjeman）终生的一只玩具熊，它的名字叫Archibald Ormsby-Gore，昵称Archie。

19世纪20年代，贝杰曼在牛津大学莫德林学院学习时，总是带着小熊Archie。

他在那里结识了伊夫林•沃，后者把小熊写在了小说中。

贝杰曼曾经以Archibald为题写过一首诗，其中一段这样写道：　　The dreaded evening keyhole scratch　　Announcing some return below　　The nursery landing's lifted latch,　　The punishment to undergo　　Still I could smooth those half-moon ears　　And wet that forehead with my tears小熊Aloysius在电影中出现过三次，或者更多，但我没有留意吧。

第一次是在船上，塞巴斯蒂安抱着小熊，拿着酒杯，斜躺在船里面。

第二次是在查尔斯去拜访他的那天，他把小熊从椅子上拿开，说“Aloysius，你不能坐在那儿”，然后请查尔斯坐下。

最后是在摩洛哥，查尔斯走进他破败肮脏的小屋，塞巴斯蒂安不在房间里，只有他的小熊躺在地上的唱片旁边。

他捡起小熊，接着Kurt走进来问他是谁，对他他塞巴斯蒂安在医院里，让他见到他的时候告诉他他还在等他。

或许最终陪伴的，只是他的小熊，可是Kurt还在等着他回去。

我一直都认为人生来是孤独的，最后也会一个人离去，但我也相信“永远独自一人”这种状态也可能包括了那个同类，因为这个世界上只要有同类理解，就不会孤独，只是一般来说很难遇到。

我想如果像塞巴斯蒂安那样去爱，就一定会有等待的人，也会有自己的小熊阿洛伊休斯。

塞巴斯出现的时候，脑子里面只闪过一个词叫glass。

他真的是很像，笑起来也带着非常容易断裂的表情。

我想起一首歌叫一个爱上浪漫的人。

歌词里有一句叫，空留自作的多情余恨这部剧让人失望的地方就是，查理真的一点都不爱塞巴斯。

甚至一点都不懂得塞巴斯的爱。

他像个象牙的雕塑，只有暖黄的微笑，却没有任何反应。

自认高贵聪明其实什么都不懂。

这就连回旋的余地都没有。

旁观者都看得灰心难过。

塞巴斯，在没有爱上查理之前是多么的耀眼美丽，潇洒不羁。

爱上查理之后，你就看着他的光泽，在他身上一点点得褪尽。

直到油尽灯枯，直到凋零成秋天枯黄的叶子。

折断的时候发出千篇一律的清脆声响。

查理去找他的时候，他眼里全是认命和放弃。

刚开始我确实没有非常喜欢他，我不喜欢他一脸吃不了苦的任性轻浮。

直到他在威尼斯，被现实打了耳光。

他穿得再喧嚣华丽但是表情沉默，他选择放弃，选择独自吞下这后果。

这后果他根本难以承担。

他曾得到过虚假的幸福，为此他付出真实惨重的代价。

塞巴斯终究是个善良的人，但谁来拥抱你的天真。

————————————————————————————我本来不晓得这片啥内容，看海报也没什么兴趣，是冲着马修古迪去补的。

他演的非常好，毁我塞巴斯毁得一点自觉都没有，好感全灭。

——————————2013年12月重刷———————————其中有一段，马修和塞巴斯妈妈相互指责的部分：“你才是他喝酒的原因，我不过是想给他一点自由。

”“你只是希望他喜欢你。

你竭尽全力得讨别人的喜欢。

”这两句我觉得都对。